A Series of (possibly) Unfortunate Events

Now that the Olympics are finally over, after 17 days of headlines highlighting the bloody battles on the sporting field, we attempt to bring to you a breath of fresh air in the form of a few headlines you might have missed in the last few days.

• Iran and its twin earthquakes: Iran (17^th on the Olympic table) experienced two earthquakes (do they have some fancy name in geography for that?) one after the other last Saturday, and the death toll is now up to 306 as of an hour ago.  The second earthquake struck 200 miles north of Tehran, and if the US intelligence is to be believed about the nuclear weapons being hoarded there, the earthquake struck dangerously close to Iran’s almighty trump card. Perhaps this is all an American conspiracy.. And, of course, where there’s an earthquake, there’s criticism to be dished out over relief efforts. Give the Iranian government a break guys, is it their fault the infrastructure of the areas hit were so shit?

• North Korea’s first lady flaunts Dior: Who would have thought that the citizens of North Korea (20^th on the Olympic table) were dying out of need for basic amenities? Not Ri Sol-ju, missus to Kim Jong-un (that guy who runs North Korea and rides roller coasters). Sol-ju raised eyebrows when she was seeing flaunting her Dior clutch at events. If the clutch is real, it costs $1,600. That’s how much your average North Korean earns in a year. Work hard, pay harder eh? It’s okay, there’s still hope the bag is “Made in China” if you get our drift.

I have a game I like to play called "spot the annual wage of a North Korean"

• Fareed Zakaria suspended over plagiarism: A headline to hit close to the hearts of all IB kids world over. Being educated in an education system that recoils in disgust at the very thought of “borrowing” a line or two from papers in order to complete the relished extended essay, I find it highly amusing and very entertaining that distinguished journalist Fareed Zakaria not only thought of borrowing but went ahead and did it as well. He copied parts of an article from The New Yorker (USA is 1^st on the Olympics table) for his article in Time Magazine on gun control (we have a pretty spiffing article by Chap as well, bonus points for him for not plagiarizing). Harvard and Yale educated? Pfft. Time and CNN have both suspended him for the time being. What does he have to say? “I apologize unreservedly”. Come on Zakaria, you can be more original than that.

• Romney’s a “sheikh” guy: After the horrifying Wisconsin shooting at a Sikh temple (Gurudwara) that killed six Sikhs, everyone leapt at the chance to say their bit, including Presidential candidate Mitt Romney. He offered his condolences to the “Sheikh” people and his opinion on the horrors of the shooting at the “Sheikh” temple. Thanks Romney, I’m sure the Arab world fully appreciates it. For future reference though-

This is a Sheikh

This is a Sikh

          Well done Romney. Maybe he should have just kept his mouth shut..

• IGCSE Results out!: The IGCSE (International something something*) results came out this afternoon (depending on where you live), putting thousands of kids worldwide out of misery (or into misery) as they scrolled through their lists of grades. I included this in here not because this is something that people might have missed because of the Olympics (and if it is, I pray for their sake they didn’t take the IGCSEs) but because it deserves a mention due to the hours of work gone into producing that one sheet of paper that makes you feel either fantastic or absolutely shit, or somewhere within that range. Congratulations to everyone who did well, didn’t do well, whatever. If you didn’t do well because you were lazy or distracted, you get not a single ounce of pity from this side of the computer. If you didn’t do well because you’re supremely talented in other fields like actor Aamir Khan or dancer Raghav Juyal (some of the most creative minds in Bollywood), I hope to write an article on you soon. Till then, relax, enjoy IB (it really isn’t overly tough at all), do something cool like starting a blog and stay hidden from your parents (especially if you’re Indian).

Special shout-out to Chap for doing mind-blowingly well on his IGCSE's, I'm almost tearing up in pride. Almost.

 -Lassie

*International General Certificate of Secondary Education

Sources:http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/impoverished-north-korea-new-lady-opts-dior-clutch-article-1.1132459#ixzz23Q6KoqKK