(Poetic) Justice Finally Served?

extremism |ikˈstrēˌmizəm|

noun

the holding of extreme political or religious views; fanaticism

November has been an interesting month for a number of reasons starting from the (apparently disappointing) release of Jab Tak Hain Jaan and ending with the (extremely shocking) surprise hanging of Ajmal Kasab 5 days before the anniversary of the day he waged war on India 4 years ago. It is only fair that this post explores who Kasab was, what he did and the poetic justice that was delivered to him 5 days ago.

One amongst 10 men handpicked from a bunch of recruits taught to swim, sail, shoot and manipulate explosives amongst other skills probably required to wage war against a country, Ajmal Kasab was part of the high-profile 2008 Mumbai Terror Attacks that saw an organized series of strikes in the soul of India (assuming Delhi to be its heart only because of geographical positioning), killing 164 people and wounding at least 310. This Jihad group was trained in and came from Pakistan and began their attack on 26^th November and lasted till 29^th November. Kasab was the sole surviving terrorist.

I actually remember pretty clearly when the attacks happened. My parents were glued to NDTV in the living room for 3 whole days as we saw the same footage being played over and over again while India attempted to grapple with what exactly was happening.

Kasab confessed to the majority of it and explained in detail as to how the operation was carried out. However, in December 2009 Kasab retracted his statement and claimed – I’m not making this up- that he had come to Mumbai to try his luck in Bollywood. A large part of why his trial took so long was because no lawyer wanted to represent him on ethical basis. I can see why. Along with the ethics and all, he did have an 11,000 page chargesheet charging him on no less than 86 counts. Try the phrase “legal suicide”. Fast forward a couple of years and he was sentenced to death in 2010.

Of course, anybody even remotely familiar with the Indian death penalty will know it can be likened to what we unfairly associate blondes with- a joke (no offence). Kasab appealed the decision, which was rejected by President Pranab Mukherjee (like he had a choice, to be honest). Nevertheless, nobody actually thought anything would happen. Like I said, the Indian death penalty was kind of a standing joke- nothing illustrated this better than the fact that before stepping down from the post of president, Pratibha Patil changed the death sentence of a rapist to a life term in jail. The awkward moment when the president finds out that rapist she granted life to had died 5 years earlier…

The last time we hung someone was in 2004. That is 8 years ago. According to Amnesty International, at least 200 people have been sentenced to death since 2007, but not a single one has been hung. Till now.

21^st November, 2012, 7:30 a.m.: Kasab was placed in a special cell, with no other inmate being aware of his presence. Hung quietly and without any prior announcement to the media or the public, the execution was carried out with efficiency and discretion one does not usually associate with the Indian government. Makes one wonder what we could do if we really wanted to.

The government has been praised, obviously, as they should be (unless you are opposed to capital punishment in general). The opposition has given them their due credit as well, and this is really a rare moment of the country working the way it should (although long overdue- better late than never though). This might have given the UPA government the emotional leg-up that they will need in the coming parliamentary elections. Brownie points to them! Relations with Pakistan have remained, to a large extent, unaffected (although hopefully this isn’t the calm before the storm). Pakistanis are all up (as they usually are) demanding retaliation but the government has chosen to downplay the hanging. Neither the Lashkar-e-Toiba nor the Taliban have been as quiet though- they have threatened to “kidnap Indians and not return their bodies”, apparently mirroring the manner in which Kasab was executed. They’re angry about Kasab not being given a proper Islamic burial. What about all those times we fed him mutton biryani because he threw a tantrum in jail (biryani is arguably one of India’s finest culinary achievements. Proponents of butter chicken & naan might disagree though)?

This article is dedicated to those who lost someone they knew in 26/11. Kasab’s death may not bring them back, but it takes us a step closer to a number of things from closure to a glimmer of faith in our government. 

-Lassie

Cartoon Sources:

http://faadooindia.com/2012/11/microsofts-next-os-will-be-called-kasab/

http://www.indiatimes.com/india/kasab-just-a-gunman-world-media-needs-to-wake-up-47988.html

The EU – Taking fish out of water since 1973

Over the past few weeks, the limelight has been hogged rather selfishly by the United States of America’s presidential elections. Now that we are prepared to see absolutely no change whatsoever over the next four years, it is time to find another bucket to put all our eggs in. (Apologies to any vegans, you can just put your sawdust in or whatever it is that you eat)

Happily, however, some recent research has yielded a very promising candidate – the EU’s now-defunct Common Fishing Policy (CFP). To understand just how hilariously appalling this policy was, it is necessary to take a history lesson. In the early 1970s, nations with rich waters (the UK, Denmark, Ireland etc) applied to join the EU. The EU’s erstwhile members decided to engineer a rather clever underhand strategy to “share” the entire fishing catch. The resulting policy outlined exactly what fish were to be caught, what quantity they were to be caught in, who would catch them and where they would go.

On paper, this sounds like a rather brilliant idea. Rather than bear the stench of a street-side fish market (Lassie is Bengali so, sorry Lassie) the EU’s members could satisfy their needs in a more organised way. Except the CFP came with one tragic flaw – because the quantities were clearly defined, any excess fish were considered “illegal”. Since it’s impossible to tell what fish has been caught until it’s caught, this was a bit of an obstacle. And since fish die when they’re caught, they can’t be put back. And finally, since commercial fisherman catch huge schools of fish, the EU’s seas turned into mass graves.

While many environmental groups have found this to be a major concern (Lassie is in tears at this point), I just think the situation illustrates just how bureaucratic and impractical politics can be. Consider the following situation. Fifty English fishermen catch 120,000 tuna in a week. Since they were supposed to catch some other fish, they throw the fish back into the sea. At the end of the month, the English food authority spends £120,000 buying some Danish tuna – whereas it would be much cheaper to buy it from English fishermen. In 2009, a research paper was published saying that 88% of the EU’s fish stocks had been overfished and that 30% were outside safe biological limits. Basically what the EU did with the CFP was to make countries pay extra in order to damage the environment.

As far as the newspapers go, an” EU Crisis” is when an old man in Athens can’t afford to buy Starbucks coffee or when David Cameron and Angela Merkel argue over what flowers to plant outside Trafalgar Square. Personally, however, I feel that the CFP saga should rank among the EU’s largest crises. On one hand there are billions of people dying because of malnutrition and on the other hand you have the EU willingly throwing away tonnes of healthy, protein-rich food. We keep hearing about how the developed world does its best to aid the less fortunate and how they bleed money and food and water. Absolute nonsense. Why would the EU, a group of some of the world’s most respected and financially powerful nations, throw away huge fish stocks, if they actually had the best interests of the world or their own people at heart?

It really is a shambolic state of affairs and one can only hope that the EU replaces the CFP with a policy that actually works. It’s not like vegetarians buy meat and then set it on fire.

PS: Dear Lassie, I’m sorry for taking so long to write an article. Also, I hate fish.

- Chap.

If Romney Wins..

I'll be updating this post throughout the day with quotes from the people I hear around school (sneakily of course)- enjoy!

• "F*&^, I'll cancel SAFAR"- Yasmin, head of fashion for upcoming event SAFAR
• "I'll be very sad :( "- Steve Park, arguably the cutest human in my Economics class right now
• "I'll drop out of MUN"- Niki Mathur, an already hassled student who doesn't need the added pressure from the White House
• Not a quote but worth a click
• "These are probably the most politically unaware students in our entire grade"- She Who Must Not Be Named
• "mitt romney is a dush i don't understand y ppl lyk him excuz d chtspk"- respected alumni Sanya Mansoor, Journalism Major from Northwestern (pretty obvious from her grandiloquent language)
• "Mitt Romney is not a politician, he is just a man in a suit who gets up on stage and says whatever the f*#% he wants and people vote for him because they just want a hot president or something i'm so FRUSTRATED"- Sanjana Sankaran, elite model/dancer and my math buddy
• (Diya's brother was fraped and the person liked the Mitt Romney page on Facebook) "Do you still expect me to pay for your college education?"- Mr. Varadaraj, Diya's brilliant father
• "Women, non-heterosexuals and non-upper class folks will basically have a shit 4 years"- alumni Ahana Das, IR major from THE HEART OF IT ALL Washington DC 

AND FACEBOOK EXPLODES- Congratulations President Obama on the behalf of (most of) UWCSEA's student body!

2012-2016!

XOXO GOSSIP DEMOCRAZIES

6 (potentially) Useless Facts for the November 6th Elections

Because useless is what we do best, this post is long overdue. The original title of this was "10 Things You May or May Not Know About Today's Election" but I ran out of patience and useless (enough) facts so I sneakily renamed it to the above. Nevertheless, here you go-

1. The elections have been held on Tuesdays since 1845, when voters used the Monday to get to the voting stations by horse and carriage.
2. Even if Obama wins a majority of the votes, Romney can still win the title of President and vice versa. In 2000, Al Gore won the popular vote but Bush won the electoral vote (there was a huge mess with Florida). Wikipedia explains this fairly simply:
   In the United States, each state conducts its own popular election for President and Vice President. However, the voters are actually voting for a slate of "electors", each of whom pledged to vote for a particular candidate for each office. Most states, including Florida, award all electoral votes to the candidate for either office who receives a plurality of the state's popular vote. Any candidate who then receives an absolute majority of all electoral votes nationally (270 since 1963) wins the Presidential or Vice Presidential election.
   
3. As of yesterday, President Obama had 0.4% advantage over Romney.
4. In the crucial swing state of Ohio itself, with 18 electoral votes up for grabs, Obama and Romney’s combined expenditure on advertisement and campaigning have reached roundabouts $144 million- far more than the GDPs of Afghanistan, Nepal, Ethiopia, Kenya and Libya combined (as diligently calculated by yours truly).
5. Thomas Nast has been credited with designing both the Republican Elephant and the Democratic Donkey. He is also credited with popularizing Uncle Sam, the bearded man that every history student is so familiar with.
   
   
6. If Obama wins this term, it is the last term he will ever be able to serve as President of the United States. If he does win, he will be the third president to win two terms consecutively in the last 50 years. The law for number of times one can be elected got changed after Roosevelt won four times in a row. 

And because I'm in a good mood- BONUS FACT: The next time both the Chinese and the American leadership will be handed over together won't be for another 20 years. 

-Lassie