That One Time Bollywood & North Korea Made News for Similar Reasons

As a die-hard Bollywood fan who is “mildly” interested in politics, the last few days have been nothing less than an emotional rollercoaster for me. I have dipped in and out of depression, thanks to all the news about marriages (or the lack of it) reported both in the Western and Indian media.

“Saif-Kareena Wedding Called Off?”

“N. Korea’s Kim Jong Un Married!”

I’m sorry but how is one meant to take both of these lying down? I am at a loss when trying to decide which piece of news has affected me more, and this article will attempt to reach a conclusion. A bit of soul-searching, if you will.

Introducing the two happy couples for those who don’t like Bollywood/ don’t read newspapers/both (what a miserable existence)- first up are Saif-Kareena (or for those shippers out there: Saifeena). Two of Bollywood’s biggest names (and I don’t say this lightly), the two are arguably on the level of Abhishek-Aishwarya (Abhiash heheh) where fame and status are concerned. They were meant to tie the knot after the release of Agent Vinod (don’t watch it) this year but postponed it to October. Next, we have North Korean leader Kim Jong Un who took over the title of “dictator” “leader” after his dad Kim Jong Il died last December (I hear he was il. Sorry, done-to-death joke, I know. But then again, so was he). Kim Jong-un married his lovely wife Ri Sol-ju after he saw her performing at a concert hall (BOLLYWOOD SCRIPTWRITERS TAKE NOTE!!). Aged at around 28-29, Kim is the youngest head of state in the world. He is also a couple of years younger than Kareena Kapoor.

Kim Jong-un and the Missus

Kareena Kapoor & Saif Ali Khan

Saifeena (as they shall be called henceforth) have been dating for 5 years now, and talks of marriage have been on for ages now (albeit more by the media than the couple itself). However, with Kareena’s latest film “Heroine” (the trailer of which we recommend watching by the way) lined up for release soon, we hear she got cold feet and postponed the wedding to late December, or even next year. I don’t blame her, which married heroine has managed to keep her pre-marriage appeal? Dad, Madhuri Dixit doesn’t count and even if she did Aaja Nachle was horrendous, so that once again proves my point. Save your career Kareena! Saif isn’t going anywhere (hopefully).

Kim Jong-un though. He’s a completely different kind of weirdo. Since his father’s death, what looks like attempts have been made to make North Korea more, for the lack of a better word, “cute”. He’s been photographed hugging soldiers, with women by his arms (not the military type), and posing for photos with troops, things I think his dad wouldn’t be too happy doing. He has toured amusement parks and concerts where guest appearances were made by Mickey Mouse and Disney characters. Yes, it’s no Shah Rukh Khan dancing at Filmfares but give him a break, the guy’s trying. He’s also shuffled around the military in order to consolidate his power further, but that’s not very significant in the face of this photo-

Like I said, cute. In the words of a wise friend (just kidding, Chap’s my only wise friend)- “What a swell guy”. Absolutely no pun intended on the word ‘swell’. And now the media is going absolutely berserk over the fact that he’s married. And why wouldn’t they? Nothing says “take me seriously” better than showing off your pretty little wife to the media. Furthermore, headlines yell “Americans weren’t invited to the wedding”. Pity, but not as depressing as the time Hrithik Roshan and Shah Rukh Khan weren’t invited to Abhiash’s wedding. You want to try convincing me that the former is worse than the latter? Don’t bother. Especially considering America has no diplomatic ties with North Korea, but HR and SRK were more than “bros” with Abhiash. Furthermore, I don’t see why everyone’s getting so terribly excited about this little revelation about Kim Jong-un’s wedding. Yes, sure, it makes him look like more than a chubby ruler, and sure, it makes him more of a family man than before. But that doesn’t conceal the fact that North Korea is still an awful place to live in, more and more citizens are starving by the day, basic amenities aren’t available to most people, they still shower pretty pathetic propaganda leaflets on South Korea once in a while, literacy levels are abysmal to say the least and of course- the fact that they probably have access to nuclear weapons. But it’s okay guys, Kim Jong-un is married!

Coming to think of it, Kareena calling off the Saifeena wedding does seem much more heartbreaking. I’m going to quote another friend of mine because her sentiments reflect those of fans worldwide-

Tanvi Bhaskar 7:49 PM

omg

WHY

i thought

they were all finally happy

for once

omg whyy

i ACTUALLY liked them

shipped them if you will

Amen to that, Tanvi.

But there you have it folks. Tis’ the season to talk about weddings, apparently, but we need to stay focused on the bigger picture here. The media is going gaga over Kim’s marriage, but it cant distract us from the plight of every single North Korean in the country and the fact that these “reforms” are as deep as Kareena’s cheapest face mask. Real reforms are yet to take place, and when those do, I promise I’ll release an article titled “How Kim Jong un-did his father’s despotic rule”. Obviously, no pun intended.

-Lassie